Mattie Woody Styles, born on July 4th, 1942, passed away peacefully in her home on Sunday, April 24th, 2022 surrounded by her children, Brent, Bobby, and Teresa Styles Crabtree; beloved grandsons, Jacob and Christopher Crabtree; and best friend and long-time love, Dallas Queen. Mat, or Miss Mattie as Dallas often called her, was one of four surviving daughters of a family of twelve children, born to Tom (T.J.) and Carrie Buchanan Woody.
Her children, grandchildren, and Dallas would like to share with you more about this unforgettable woman. Mom was known to many and made friends everywhere she went. She was the kind of person who talked to everyone in the bank, the pharmacy, or a store. She lived in several different places in her life, including Chicago, Miami, Johnson City, and several cities in North and South Carolina, but always found her way home to Cane Creek. Mom travelled extensively, going to Paris, London, and Geneva with Brent and to the Middle East with Pastor Max Holland and a tour group of strangers. She boldly fulfilled her dream of visiting the Holy Land at a time when travel to the Middle East was widely considered unsafe. She ignored Teresa’s instructions to be cautious about everything and to accept no food from strangers. Mom returned from the Holy Land with a picture of herself riding a camel and stories of the friends she’d made and the cookies they’d shared. She also brought papyrus that is now framed and hangs in each of her grandson’s bedrooms and in Brent’s cabin, serving always as a reminder of Mom’s courageous trip.
Mom was an enchanting combination of Lucille Ball, Betty White, and Elizabeth Taylor. She was a beautiful woman and got her first wrinkle shortly after turning 79. Even in her last days, everyone marveled at her flawless complexion, incredible blue eyes, and natural beauty. She was known for her eclectic style, particularly her love of vintage hats, sunglasses, oversized jackets, and funky shoes. And, of course, her trademark men’s white shirts.
Mom leaves her family and friends with stories that still make us laugh until we cry. She was a hilarious mix of intelligence and book smarts, combined with a lack of common sense. Her twin sister, our Aunt Sue, recalls the time Mom accidentally knocked a screen out of a two story window and immediately began planning aloud how they could design a pulley system to raise the screen back to the upper level of the house. Sue pondered why they couldn’t simply walk down to the screen and carry it back upstairs.
Mom was very intelligent and was valedictorian of her graduating class, earning a full college scholarship. While she later chose to forego the scholarship, Mom was a lifelong learner, reading thousands of books and completing countless crossword and sudoku puzzles. She was also quite a competitive Scrabble player. In the mid 2000s, Mom surprised everyone when she taught herself Spanish so that she could converse with Blanca, a dear family friend from Honduras.
Mom was neurotic about grammar and we often referred to her as “The Grammar Police”. Teresa has carried on the family tradition, with Jacob and Christopher regularly asking her, “What are you? The grammar police?” They’ve learned that Teresa is the daughter of the original grammar police. Mom credited her English teacher, Helen McBee, for her superb vocabulary and command of the English language.
Mom loved music, especially gospel and bluegrass. She taught herself to play the piano late in life and one of her favorite songs to play was “What a Friend We Have in Jesus”. Mom also loved singing and was honored to sing at many funerals, including the 1997 service for Dallas’ father, Oscar Queen. She sang with her sisters, in church choirs, and in a bluegrass group. Mom loved Elvis and often embarrassed Teresa by dancing to his songs. The embarrassment of ‘Elvis dancing’ came full circle when Mom and Teresa danced to “Don’t Be Cruel “ when Mom was 79 and Teresa’s teenaged sons were mortified by their mother’s dancing.
Dallas and Miss Mattie became friends in 1971 when she was a Head Start teacher/Social Services aide and Dallas was the Social Services Head Start Coordinator. They reconnected in 1991 and spent the remainder of Miss Mattie’s life as the best of friends, the greatest of companions, and the truest of loves. They went on countless road trips to Lake Norman and, for the past several years, to St. Louis, to spend time with Teresa and the boys. Dallas was endlessly patient with Miss Mattie, even when she repeatedly reminded him to ask for THE SENIOR coffee in the McDonald’s drive thru. When not on the road, they filled their days with Andy Griffith shows, classic movies, treasure hunting in old stores, gospel music, praying, and studying the Bible. Every summer, they took Jacob and Christopher on treasure hunting and gemstone mining or other adventures and gave them some of the happiest memories of their childhoods. During Miss Mattie’s illness, Dallas was a great comfort and source of strength, holding her hand and praying for a miracle until she took her last breath.
We learned so much from our mother. Mom instilled in Brent the love of art and adventure. One of his fondest memories is of Mom putting out a white bedsheet and having him, Bobby, and Teresa draw and decorate it for hours when they were 6 and 7 years old. He also enjoys recalling Mom’s first flight to Atlanta and the excitement of the family picking her up at the airport. Brent has now visited 6 continents, including two continents on trips with Bobby and Teresa, as well as with Mom. Brent will always cherish memories of love and laughter shared during his around the world adventures with Mom. Trips to New York, including seeing Bette Midler on Broadway, and milestone birthdays in Chicago were some of the most memorable times in Mom’s life.
Most importantly, Brent has always been impressed by Mom’s faithfulness to her beliefs. On one particular topic, the two of them never agreed. Mom never regularly brought up the topic in conversation, but every few years a several page handwritten letter, double-sided, would appear in the mail, lovingly addressing the topic. Brent jokingly referred to the surprise letters as “drive-by shootings” – unannounced, yet impactful events.
Mom loved being a mother and often longed for the days when her three children were home with her. When we were growing up, Bobby called our grandparents “Mom” and “Dad” and our mother was always “Momma”. Mom spent a lot of time with Bobby and he devoted himself to caring for her in recent years. A couple of years ago, she asked Bobby why he no longer called her “Momma” and told him that she missed it. Bobby recalls that he immediately felt like her little boy again and, for the rest of Mom’s life, she was “Momma” to Bobby. He believes that he owes everything to his sweet Momma. One special gift she gave him, as well as to Brent and Teresa, was a love of reading. Bobby will remember her whenever he picks up a book and settles into Momma’s spot on the sofa. And we know that she’ll be with him and bring him comfort always.
One of Mom’s gifts to Teresa was her acceptance of people with intellectual or physical disabilities. She sang duets in church with an intellectually impaired friend, sometimes starting over several times if Tarp lost the tune or forgot the words. Teresa’s advocacy for people with physical disabilities was first inspired by Mom’s close friendship with a woman who had polio. We spent a lot of time with this friend, including a vacation one summer. Acceptance came from not even seeing the physical disabilities because we knew and loved the person. The other gift Mom gave Teresa and her sons is the power and importance of prayer. Mom taught us how to pray and we will always think of her when we join hands every night for our special prayer, followed by The Lord’s Prayer.
Her grandsons will always remember that Ganny smelled like spearmint gum and Clinique Happy perfume. They’ll also remember the incredible love and closeness they shared. Ganny always joined the family for the annual Mother’s Day trip to the Isle of Palms, South Carolina. She and Dallas always spent Christmas and birthdays with the boys. Days and weeks at a time were spent together, even after Teresa and the boys relocated to St. Louis. Many happy birthdays were spent at a hotel in St. Charles, Missouri, most recently in 2020. Ganny’s high school basketball prowess resurfaced as she competed with Christopher, at age 78, in a basketball game in the hotel arcade. Her energy and enthusiasm were a joy to see! We also have a picture of her cheering after scoring a point in air hockey. Good times!
Mom’s older grandson, Jacob, talked to Ganny on the phone for an hour or two every day. Through Ganny, Jacob began overcoming his reticence and learned to open up to people. He also learned to feel special and to be heard. The long calls drove his mother crazy at times, but will now be forever missed. Jacob will remember the countdown required to end the calls. Ganny couldn’t bear to be the first to end a call, so she and Jacob always counted down to hang up time.
Ganny taught her younger grandson to always “do the right thing”, which began with a rule she started when Christopher was two years old. He was fearless, occasionally leaving his nursery in the middle of the night and toddling down a long staircase to roam the house. Ganny was anxious that Christopher might fall, so she taught him to “Do the Right Thing”, which meant going across the hall to her room and climbing into bed with her and Jacob, instead of wandering around the house. Christopher asked if he’d done the right thing whenever he showed up at Ganny’s door with his one-eared Bear Bear in hand. She always confirmed, “You did the right thing.” During the following years, and in many different situations, Ganny reminded Christopher to always do the right thing. In her final days, we were reminded that Jacob and Christopher are the incredible young men they are today, in large part, to the life lessons Ganny taught them.
Mom always hated the finality of saying goodbye, preferring instead to say “Bye for now”. Dallas and Miss Mattie’s version was “Hasta luego, por ahora.” So, we’ll say “Bye for now” to Mom, Momma and Ganny and “Hasta luego, por ahora” to Miss Mattie. We’ll see you again in Heaven.
The family asks that you join them in a Celebration of Life ceremony at the Bakersville, NC Creek Walk Pavilion, on Wednesday April 27th at 1.00 pm. Burial will take place following this event in the Queen Family Cemetery, 7537 NC-261, commencing at 3.30 pm.
In lieu of flowers, the family is asking that donations be made to the National Ataxia Foundation ataxia.org. Please indicate Mattie Woody Styles in the Tribute/Memorial section!
To send online condolences, please visit our website at www.yanceyfuneralservice.com.
